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10 top tips in How to deal with your Bridezilla

Your wedding day is fast approaching and it seems like you’re eating wedding, sleeping wedding and breathing wedding – every waking minute! Remember the beautiful, kind natured, laid back lady you asked to marry you? She’s nowhere to be seen, long ago kidnapped and replaced by a ponytail wearing, avocado eating, stress monster. Or, what is known in the industry as, a Bridezilla.

Wedding planning puts an awful lot of stress on a couple, but think of it as your first major ‘test’. You maybe have experienced moving house (moderate stress) holiday hunting (high stress) or even camping (oh god!) But wedding planning is on a whole new level, and we’re here to give you some advice in how to handle the missus when she’s quite clearly lost it amidst colour schemes and tables plans.  

Listen to her

I know what you’re thinking ‘I do listen’. But we mean really listen. She knows you well enough to figure out whether your grunts and nods are genuine and now is not the time to pretend. She’s not moaning about her boss, or bitching her mate here – she’s expressing deep set emotions associated with a lifetime of dreams. If you’re are going to listen at any point, now is the time (and it’s probably a good idea to extend this to the birth of your children also)

Avoid certain phrases

Don’t avoid her altogether! But when you are in wedding planning conversation (you can apply this to other chats also) there are some phrases which should be locked in the ‘no go’ cupboard in your brain. A bit like profanities get locked away when you visit your parents or you are around kids. ‘Calm down’ – WILL have the opposite effect. ‘It will be ok’ – yes, it will. But she won’t be able to see that right now. Instead, offer solutions and help her see a clear path to a resolution. And DO NOT under ANY circumstances mention time of the month – whistling and humming is also not a good idea!

Don’t publicly discuss

Meaning, you will have had heated discussions regarding wedding details and most probably at some point teared into each other about the all-important and ever dwindling budget. Keep those private – oversharing at dinner with friends or family in a desperate attempt to seek some sort of‘back up’ or agreement is not the way forward. It will make the situation worse, be awkward for those spectating and she will hate you for it.  

Offer your help

Ask frequently what you can do to help or make things better. That may mean playing taxi driver, delivery guy or even babysitter. Wedding planning means giving up your ‘free’ time to offer your opinions on girlie stuff like flowers, fabrics and colours. And lets me honest – you do care about these things, you can probably just make a decision a lot quicker than she can. But try and sympathise that details really matter for someone who has been dreaming about this day since they were a little un.

Be a team

You were the one that pressed go here. You gave the go ahead for this whole process on the day you got down on one knee. You were asking her to be in union with you for LIFE. Start as you mean to go on and keep the feeling of team work going. Think pre-match football talk including strategy and goals. Huddles and cuddles will go down well alongside time schedules and deadlines. And of course don’t forget to reward the ‘team’ when you’ve accomplished something from the ‘to do’ list.

Pedestal Princess

As mentioned before, now and when she is giving birth to your children are the times when treating your lady like a spoiled child is acceptable. She is your Queen, love, honour and obey her (get used to it! And within reason obviously.) Little things go a long way to improving her mood and mind-set. Bubbles, chocolate and flowers are great place to start. Learn to say ‘yes of course’ and ‘no problem, I shall do that right now’.

Speak to those close to her

You won’t be the only one feeling the bride to be brunt. Head bridesmaid is sure to be getting this too – so you will have more common ground now than ever. Catch up with her to make sure things are going to plan and she will be able to offer advice on how to handle your lady in question. Mother in law to be has years of experience with your betrothed’s temper and temperament, so could really offer you some support here. 

Distract her

As well as the small things you can do day to day – bigger gestures will also be appreciated. Although wedding planning will and should take up a lot of time and energy, don’t forget who you are as a couple and how you have fun together. Think those experiences which require the minds concentration – going for a meal will just result in wedding talk. The cinema, theatre or something different like an escape attraction will truly take your brains away for a well-deserved break.

plan Something special

A bit like when the groom on ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ (yeah, we know you’ve watch a lot of these) sorts out something for the hen party, except a lot less tragic and a whole lot more successful. Arrange a pamper evening with her friends, or a relaxing afternoon at the spa. Maybe there’s something you know she would like on her hen night which the bridesmaids have failed to remember. Organise it on the sly to fit in with the planned events – she won’t expect it and she will love you even more for it.

You need to vent too

All this talk of your beautiful bride to be and the unbearable stress she is under, but what about you? Organising and planning your big day as well as being a constant support for your better half will be a strain on you also. So don’t forget to schedule in some ‘man time’ whether to do something you enjoy, spend time with mates or your family. And if you need to chat and vent, don’t be afraid to talk to a mate or even your Dad (he will have gone through this too at some point)

Hopefully you can take something from our top 10 tips for handling your bride to be during wedding planning stages. Just remember to take time to breathe, be nice to each other and remember why you’re doing this. 

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