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Who wants to play Bubble Football?

Gents Events Bubble Football

I’m 26 years old, consider myself to be a ‘one of the lads’ (although my Mrs will probably tell you otherwise) and I’m football mad! So when I was asked the question “Are you available to take part in a Bubble Football event “on the evening of Wednesday 25th March (strictly for work purposes obviously) I did what any bloke would do in my situation … I switched into Homer Simpson mode and visualised myself rampaging around in a big inflatable ball ‘gently’ knocking my work colleagues to the floor without even giving it a second thought as to whether I already had plans for that evening. So with a cheesy big grin (the kind you pull when you discover Kelly Brook is back on the market again) I switched into my alpha male mode, shouting the words of “Let’s have it!!!!”

Now if you’re wondering why I was so optimistic about this particular event the answer is simple. Firstly it was a no brainer as to how much fun I would get from playing and the second is that on Wednesdays I haven’t really done a great deal apart from commuting to work followed by sitting at home infront of the TV being ‘forced’ to watch the soaps with my tea. Is he ‘under the thumb’ you could possibly be thinking? Not exactly, this is just a man who’s been feeling down on this particular day for a number of weeks now from knowing the harsh reality he’ll never be able treat his girlfriend with a trip to the cinemas ever again thanks to Orange ending there Wednesday 2 4 1 cinema tickets. So surely taking part in Bubble Football would help banish this unbearable pain?

Bubble football Venue - Don’t be late please ladies

The venue was around 30mins away from our offices with a 6.30pm start. Our ‘home time’ is 5.30pm so when that eventually came, I was one of the first ones to bolt out the doors like a teenager breaking up for the summer holidays all over again as I was buzzing to get playing! So much so it didn’t even cross my mind to offer anyone a lift to the venue. Although I did find time for a cheeky double cheeseburger from McDonald’s beforehand so it was worth being selfish on this particular occasion and I arrived to the venue with 10mins to spare. When I walked in the other lads from the office where there ready and raring to go. But there was something missing which I just couldn’t put my fingers on, erm …. Now let me think? Oh that’s right, the lovely ladies from our office where a no show. Could it be that they running scared of the male dominance that was bound to come out on top during the evening so they decided to give up on route and call it a day? As the minutes passed I started to think this could actually be the case, whilst doing ‘keep ups’ with a football concentrating on breathing in at every given opportunity to ensure my beer gut was hidden away from the public domain as much as possible (and they say us men can’t multi task) This was however until I heard “Oh no wait here they come”, arriving 15mins later with the old “Sorry we got lost “excuse.  So was this generally the case or did they just recall what the male physical shape was actually like in the office which encouraged them to change their minds on giving up. Either way, everyone was now here and ready to get started! It was time for the fun to begin!

School Sports Day Event – Apologies to all the men reading this

Before the actual Bubble Football took place, as a warm up we started off the evening by playing a mini School Sports Day.


First up was the classic Dodgeball, with the teams split boy’s vs girls. This was a reminiscence of the last time I played the game in my final PE session at school, when I was the first to be eliminated. Not that it still bothers me to this day as you can clearly tell or that I’ve been hell-bent on seeking my revenge ever since. Now I could explain the rules on how you play and give you the full analysis how the game went but I won’t for 3 reasons. Firstly is that we all know how to play the game in which you dodge and throw a handful of balls to hit your opponent, secondly, I was the first out (I did have man flu may I add not that I’m one to make excuses) and thirdly because the girls absolutely wiped the floor with us and were the clear winners. So let’s move on shall we?!

Sack Racing

The next game was the classic Sack Racing. Again we all know this one, where you stand in a sack before the race starts and kid yourself (once again) into thinking this can’t be too hard before woefully attempting to race to the finishing line, falling over every couple of strides as if you’ve just left the pub from a heavy session on the old Stella Artois. Needless to say yet again the girls absolutely wiped the floor with us and were the clear winners, so again let’s move on.

Binocular Football

Last but not least was Binocular Football. If you’re not familiar with this it’s simple: Think back to that time (or numerous times) when you’ve been out with lads, you’ve had a right skin full, ended up in a club, slipped into your smooth Sean Connery mode and would you believe it you’ve only just gone and pulled a right ‘stunner!’ Completely oblivious to the fact your mates have tried dragging you away; you’ve ignored their advice and walked off with this lucky lady into the moonlight, only to find out the next morning she looks a lot different to how you remember. In a nutshell, how your eyes worked that night is how they operate when wearing the binoculars for this activity. The actual game involved 2 teams having to race against one another whilst attempting to dribble the football in and out between cones to the best of their ability. Needless to say ….. (I won’t write the rest as I think we all know how this result panned out)

Bubble Football – It’s finally here!

Bubble Football Balls

Last but not least, Bubble Football! It was finally time to get into those giant inflatable Zorbs! If you want to know how big you feel once you’re in one, think back to how bloated you feel after 1 too many pints, but 50x that if not more! The balls (known as Zorbs) are brilliantly made, very well protected and you can’t help but feel your inner child resurface once you are set up and ready for action!

After all of us had eventually stopped laughing at one another from our attempts to fit into our new homes, the group were split into 2 once again but this time the teams were mixed. Which I can’t deny chaps was music to my ears as another School Sports Day repeat would’ve dropped our ‘man points’ down to 0 and life would never be the same again at work!

Alternative Bubble Football Games – Bulldog & King of the Ring.

Before we got into the football side of things we started off with 2 bubble games. The first was Bulldog! I couldn’t believe my luck! My visual of being able to smash … sorry I mean ‘gently’ knock my work colleagues to the floor had come true and had been presented to me in the best possible way I could’ve hoped for. What an opportunity!

Both teams lined up either side and with a blow of a whistle both teams raced together at a furious speed! Forgot battle scenes you would’ve witnessed in Braveheart or 300 this was much more epic! I would love to say I recall how many of us got knocked to the floor and who managed to stay on their feet, but truth be told I was personally so happy with myself from knocking down my first ‘victim’ (sorry Natalia) that I felt myself turn into Jack Nicholson’s character from the Shining, with the intent of repeating this act of ‘bubble violence’ upon the rest of the group in the opposite team. However I must hold my hands up and say that after a few games I also found myself being knocked to the floor so unfortunately for me justice was served! If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself I wouldn’t like to get knocked over (maybe through male pride or just because you require a dose of the ‘man up’ cure) then think again. When you do get knocked down as I mentioned previously the protection is such of a high quality that you won’t feel a thing apart from getting stitch as you’ll be laughing that hard at yourself and seeing others falling to the floor and attempting to get back up. Another thing is for certain, you are having so much fun during this that regardless of your stamina level, whether it be one of you has a Hercules type fitness level compared to the Boris Johnson of the group, you can’t help but want to get back up and rush straight back into the thick of the action!

The second and final game was ‘King of the Ring’ (obviously queen for the ladies) and if you know what I mean by the WWE wrestling event ‘Royal Rumble’, this is basically it. All of us were placed in makeshift ‘ring’ i.e. surrounded by cones, and the rule was to knock whoever you could out the ring and the last person standing win’s! This was bubble mayhem at its finest!! Sound easy? If you think that, you’re in for a shock! This is a game that separates the boys from the men or in this case the men from the women (yes that’s right we struggled again) and after this titanic blood bath of a battle (there’s nothing like being a bit dramatic) just 2 of us remained. Our Business Development Manager Jo and myself! Now I would just like to point out that I’m not afraid of hard work!  As for quitting, I’d like to think it’s not part of my DNA. But shamefully on this particular evening, I not only became afraid of hard work but also considered quitting! This wasn’t because I was in a rush to finish and get to the bar for a swift one (though tempting as it was) this was all down to Jo! Because after plenty of attempts trying to knock her out the ring she just wouldn’t give in! Believe me if the Terminator ever had a wife, Jo was it! My legs were getting like jelly and at this point the words “One last try” entered my head! I was at breaking point! But then ... (drum roll) … it hit me! Rocky! Yes that’s right, I’m talking about Rocky Balboa!  For some unknown reason completely out the blue the classic ‘Eye of the Tiger’ entered my head! Was it with me being in a ring that made my brain use the link to compare myself with Rocky? Or was it because I’m a sad act who has the song as my alarm to wake me up in the mornings and therefore my brain registered I was shattered which triggered off the song? Either way, inspiration was found and looking back I believe this is something that will happen to all us men (who have watched the films) at least once in our life time when we find ourselves in a difficult situation (excluding if you’ve been caught cheating obviously that would be strange) and luckily for me my time had come! So with one last charge at Jo, out the ring she went and victory was mine! It was at that moment I realised how Rocky must’ve felt when Apollo Creed didn’t make it back up to his feet (If you’re a guy reading this and you don’t know what I’m referring to, shame on you!)

Time for some Bubble Football

After all the excitement from the bubble games there was just 1 more thing missing, the football itself! The funny thing is by the time we got round to playing we all enjoyed knocking each other about so much that the term ‘football’ quickly turned into ‘football wrestling’ so regarding the score I couldn’t tell you what that was, or who scored what and how many or even what colour the football was! But what I can tell you is that it was by far the funniest game of football I’ve ever played! The teams stayed the same from the Bulldog activity previously; with pink and blue zorbs separating the teams accordingly. As the game kicked off, I don’t know about the others but my intention was trying to play as I normally would do for my Saturday afternoon team. However after about a minute in I realised this was never going to happen! Although if my team mates saw me play that evening they would probably say that’s the best they’ve seen me play but that’s another story. In simple terms, the way you play would make a Sunday morning pub teams look like Real Madrid. That said I did manage a cheeky nut meg and a back heel goal as you’ll be able to witness in our exclusive video from the evening on our website. For the rest of the game my time was spent flat on my back from being knocked over pillow and post. But did I care? Not a single bit! The whole point of Bubble Football is for the FUN element which is exactly what you get! Will I be playing this again? You bet I will! Should you too? 100%! You will NOT be disappointed!

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